I have found the design for my new Nerf gun.
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Category Archives: Anecdotes and Adventures
Texts From Mom
Mom: Charging phone again but mow wzchong Archer and the removalof the eggplant dildo from Silvio Berlezconi’s ass but the mother did Not kill him.
It may be the sake, but I had to Google Silvio Berlezconi to make sure that they weren’t in Jersey and locked in my mother’s basement.
Happy Valentine’s Day
It was love at first sight.
I’m almost positive it’s an animatronic MC Hammer doll concealed in a young girl’s sock. But, it could be Satan. Or, it could be haunted by the ghost of a raver who ground up glow sticks into his cocaine. Whatever it is, it had to be mine.
Mine to give. Because nothing says “I love you” like a pink and violet MC Hammer glowing cocaine devil sock monkey dancing you a Valentine, holding a heart that says “Kiss me, I have a flaming case of herpes.”
Oh good.
”Then I’d have half a dead mobster AND a dead alligator that choked to death on the 380-pound wookie tit we called Fat Mike. There we were, Sabrina, Jill, and Kelly, standing over a heap of pink putrid man-jelly that smelled like pepperoni and fish.”
Oh, good. I found the autobiographical account of my amorous exploits.
Tentacle g(Rape)
My best friend Spooky introduced me to Tentacle Grape (http://tentaclegrape.com/)
Some awesome little slut is going to do body shots of this off my stomach before I die.